Who are the angels really watching over?
Everyone has someone in their life that gives them the strength, support and love they need to live everyday life. Whether it be a friend, a family member or someone they have never met, everyone has someone. Well, I am lucky enough to have 6 of those people. Anyone who knows me should be able to name all 6 people in a heartbeat. And well if you don't know, they are... My two moms (YES I have two beautiful incredible moms), my dad (whom I adore), my best friend (Frankie, who is my everything, although he probably doesn't know it) and of course my two kids (who are my heart and soul)... Now when you almost lose one of those people your life almost ends.
A few years ago my father found out he had cancer. The first time I heard my step mom say it I think I instantly went into shock. He wasn't given very long to live and wasn't doing too well. He has had the maximum amount one person can have of any form of radiation and he's gone through chemo. Now when you are 21 years old and you hear this you tend to block most of it out. I never saw my father while he was in the hospital because I refused. My dad was coming home. I didn't need to visit him in there. And two if anything did happen I didn't want to have the last time I see him be in that situation. I wanted to remember my dad when he was healthy... not the one dying in a hospital because of some monster that was eating at him on the inside and that wouldn't go away. Thank the Lord that my dad has been cancer free for a few years and is doing sooo good it amazes even the doctors.
Just a few days ago I got a call early in the morning from my moms cell phone. I ignored it because I was still in bed and had a headache. Well, a little while later I got another call from her cell phone and ignored it again as I was just waking up and still had a headache. Now remind you I NEVER EVER ignore a call from my mom. NEVER. So, I jumped in the shower, got out, got dressed and then called my moms cell phone. Well, a guy answered. I figured it was my brother because my step-dad is working out of town so why would he be answering my moms cell phone? "Christian?" I say. "No, this is Chris." Chris is my step-dad. I don't remember exactly what was said but I do remember him saying that he was the one that had been calling me. I was a bit confused and said "Umm,ok" And then he said if I wanted to talk to my mom. Well... ummm... sure... The next thing I hear is my mom in a voice that I will never in my life ever forget say... "Hi baby girl." I said something like hi mom and I have no idea what else. After what I heard next I seemed to have lost conscience or something cause I don't remember much. My mom said "Tanya, I had a heart attack" My moms voice was not her own, it was like she was dead. I was almost about to hang up and drive the 14 hours that it takes to get to her. I wanted to hold her and tell her everything was gonna be ok. Or maybe I wanted her to hold me and tell me everything was gonna be ok. I don't know. I do remember saying "Mom, shut up". I didn't want to hear this news. I wanted to hear that she was ok. I wanted to hear that she was calling me to tell me she was coming to see me or that cat did something funny. I did NOT want to hear that she had a heart attack. She told me that she was going to be ok but that doesn't help when you just heard your mom tell you that she had a heart attack. She told me that one of her arteries was completely blocked and that they tried to open it but couldn't. And I remember her telling me they were transporting her to another hospital. By this time I am hysterical but cant let my mom know that. I tried with all my heart to stop crying long enough to get off the phone. Well, she told me that she wanted to tell me that she loved me and that my step dad would call later that night when I was off work. I told my mom I loved her and that I would be waiting for her call.
As soon as I hung up the phone I sat there bawling my eyes out like I have never done before. I had just started an amazing relationship with my mom nearly 5 and a half years before and Ill be damned if anyone or anything is going to take her away from me. I sat there for about 5 minutes not knowing what to do with myself. I knew what it felt like to almost lose my dad... and now possible lose my mom? I immediately called my step mom who works in a hospital. I was crying so much that I was barely able to spit out "Mom" when she answered the phone. "Tanya?" she said, probably not knowing it was me because I couldn't even breathe. I finally spit out that my mom had a heart attack and that was it before I could barely breathe again. I told her that this isn't supposed to happen to her. She's not even 45 yet. Well, I talked to my step mom for about 20 minutes while she calmed me down and told me that everything was going to be ok. She explained to me what they were more than likely going to do to my mom and what would probably happen. I was a little bit calmer after I got off the phone but the rest of the day was a nightmare.
I called into work and told my Team Lead that I wasn't coming in because my mom had just had a heart attack and she seemed more pissed off than anything. Tough shit bitch. I'm not going to work unless you want me on the phones crying and not doing any good there. The rest of the day I sat in my room and cried and played on the computer talking to friends. I don't think I could have made it through that day without my friends on here. I sent messages through all the groups I belonged to for people to pray for my mom. I think she must have had 200 people from these online groups praying for her.
I don't remember the phone call that night at all but I do know my mom was doing better and that she hadn't been able to move for almost 12 hours so she wasn't comfortable. I was just glad to hear that she was still alive. I talked to her the next morning and she sounded soooo much better. My mom pulled through. My mom will be okay. She will be on a strict diet and have to exercise and all that good stuff but she will be ok.
My mom and I didn't talk much while I was growing up. I lived with my dad and my step mom and saw my mom on occasion. My mom was young. She was 18 when she had me. My dad and her split up some time later. My step mom and my dad got married 20 days before my 4th birthday. I didn't really have a close relationship with my mom until I had Francesca. I was 20 when I had her.
My mom was caught up in some bad stuff and made some bad decisions in life. Who hasn't? I am so proud of my mom and the woman she is. I can only pray to grow up to be just like her. I cant even explain my mom. She's incredible. She's a strong woman. She's a smart woman. She's a bold woman. She is 100% real. I don't think I have ever met anyone as real as my mom. Things have happened in her life that would ruin most women. Things she never deserved. My mom doesn't use any of that as an excuse for anything. If you met my mom I don't think you ever would guess that she had a life that was anything less than perfect. I'm sitting here trying to think of a way to explain her and I cant... She's just awesome.
I really have no idea what I would do if I lost any of those 6 people that mean the world to me. Since my dad is cancer free and after all the medical things he's survived I have said that my dad has lots of angels watching over him. He has angels upon angles. Now I can say that about my mom too. She has angels watching over her. I know I am not ready to lose either of my moms or my dad. To me I am still a baby and I need them here to help me and to take care of me. I am not ready to be without them. I think God knows he has to keep them here with me and the more I think about it, I'm not sure the angels are watching over them. I think they may be watching over me...
A few years ago my father found out he had cancer. The first time I heard my step mom say it I think I instantly went into shock. He wasn't given very long to live and wasn't doing too well. He has had the maximum amount one person can have of any form of radiation and he's gone through chemo. Now when you are 21 years old and you hear this you tend to block most of it out. I never saw my father while he was in the hospital because I refused. My dad was coming home. I didn't need to visit him in there. And two if anything did happen I didn't want to have the last time I see him be in that situation. I wanted to remember my dad when he was healthy... not the one dying in a hospital because of some monster that was eating at him on the inside and that wouldn't go away. Thank the Lord that my dad has been cancer free for a few years and is doing sooo good it amazes even the doctors.
Just a few days ago I got a call early in the morning from my moms cell phone. I ignored it because I was still in bed and had a headache. Well, a little while later I got another call from her cell phone and ignored it again as I was just waking up and still had a headache. Now remind you I NEVER EVER ignore a call from my mom. NEVER. So, I jumped in the shower, got out, got dressed and then called my moms cell phone. Well, a guy answered. I figured it was my brother because my step-dad is working out of town so why would he be answering my moms cell phone? "Christian?" I say. "No, this is Chris." Chris is my step-dad. I don't remember exactly what was said but I do remember him saying that he was the one that had been calling me. I was a bit confused and said "Umm,ok" And then he said if I wanted to talk to my mom. Well... ummm... sure... The next thing I hear is my mom in a voice that I will never in my life ever forget say... "Hi baby girl." I said something like hi mom and I have no idea what else. After what I heard next I seemed to have lost conscience or something cause I don't remember much. My mom said "Tanya, I had a heart attack" My moms voice was not her own, it was like she was dead. I was almost about to hang up and drive the 14 hours that it takes to get to her. I wanted to hold her and tell her everything was gonna be ok. Or maybe I wanted her to hold me and tell me everything was gonna be ok. I don't know. I do remember saying "Mom, shut up". I didn't want to hear this news. I wanted to hear that she was ok. I wanted to hear that she was calling me to tell me she was coming to see me or that cat did something funny. I did NOT want to hear that she had a heart attack. She told me that she was going to be ok but that doesn't help when you just heard your mom tell you that she had a heart attack. She told me that one of her arteries was completely blocked and that they tried to open it but couldn't. And I remember her telling me they were transporting her to another hospital. By this time I am hysterical but cant let my mom know that. I tried with all my heart to stop crying long enough to get off the phone. Well, she told me that she wanted to tell me that she loved me and that my step dad would call later that night when I was off work. I told my mom I loved her and that I would be waiting for her call.
As soon as I hung up the phone I sat there bawling my eyes out like I have never done before. I had just started an amazing relationship with my mom nearly 5 and a half years before and Ill be damned if anyone or anything is going to take her away from me. I sat there for about 5 minutes not knowing what to do with myself. I knew what it felt like to almost lose my dad... and now possible lose my mom? I immediately called my step mom who works in a hospital. I was crying so much that I was barely able to spit out "Mom" when she answered the phone. "Tanya?" she said, probably not knowing it was me because I couldn't even breathe. I finally spit out that my mom had a heart attack and that was it before I could barely breathe again. I told her that this isn't supposed to happen to her. She's not even 45 yet. Well, I talked to my step mom for about 20 minutes while she calmed me down and told me that everything was going to be ok. She explained to me what they were more than likely going to do to my mom and what would probably happen. I was a little bit calmer after I got off the phone but the rest of the day was a nightmare.
I called into work and told my Team Lead that I wasn't coming in because my mom had just had a heart attack and she seemed more pissed off than anything. Tough shit bitch. I'm not going to work unless you want me on the phones crying and not doing any good there. The rest of the day I sat in my room and cried and played on the computer talking to friends. I don't think I could have made it through that day without my friends on here. I sent messages through all the groups I belonged to for people to pray for my mom. I think she must have had 200 people from these online groups praying for her.
I don't remember the phone call that night at all but I do know my mom was doing better and that she hadn't been able to move for almost 12 hours so she wasn't comfortable. I was just glad to hear that she was still alive. I talked to her the next morning and she sounded soooo much better. My mom pulled through. My mom will be okay. She will be on a strict diet and have to exercise and all that good stuff but she will be ok.
My mom and I didn't talk much while I was growing up. I lived with my dad and my step mom and saw my mom on occasion. My mom was young. She was 18 when she had me. My dad and her split up some time later. My step mom and my dad got married 20 days before my 4th birthday. I didn't really have a close relationship with my mom until I had Francesca. I was 20 when I had her.
My mom was caught up in some bad stuff and made some bad decisions in life. Who hasn't? I am so proud of my mom and the woman she is. I can only pray to grow up to be just like her. I cant even explain my mom. She's incredible. She's a strong woman. She's a smart woman. She's a bold woman. She is 100% real. I don't think I have ever met anyone as real as my mom. Things have happened in her life that would ruin most women. Things she never deserved. My mom doesn't use any of that as an excuse for anything. If you met my mom I don't think you ever would guess that she had a life that was anything less than perfect. I'm sitting here trying to think of a way to explain her and I cant... She's just awesome.
I really have no idea what I would do if I lost any of those 6 people that mean the world to me. Since my dad is cancer free and after all the medical things he's survived I have said that my dad has lots of angels watching over him. He has angels upon angles. Now I can say that about my mom too. She has angels watching over her. I know I am not ready to lose either of my moms or my dad. To me I am still a baby and I need them here to help me and to take care of me. I am not ready to be without them. I think God knows he has to keep them here with me and the more I think about it, I'm not sure the angels are watching over them. I think they may be watching over me...
posted by The Black Widow at 11:31 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home