Just a big ramble... and a big step....
Well, today was a long day. No one ordered a tall skinny anything, thank the Lord. Half way through the day I thought about quiting. I can't stand being 25 years old working with high school kids. And yes they are kids to me. They are sooooo fucking lazy! Well, I promise I wont be there long. If I don't like it I'm not staying, period.
Other than that today was a big day. I finally took of my wedding rings. You would have thought I did that a long time ago huh? Well, it hurt too much. From the day I got married I can't think of a time where I wasn't wearing my wedding rings. I had taken the engagement ring off so a diamond can be replaced but my wedding band never came off. I loved my husband with all my heart so I figured I should keep it on. Granted, Ray NEVER EVER wore his. He had one when we got married and then about 3 weeks after he lost it. Of course he says he was playing with it and they were in a field drinking (he was in A-school for the military) and it fell off. Since it was in the middle of the night he couldn't find it. That was right around the time he spent 155 dollars on a hotel room. Uh huh... I believe him... don't you? HAHA right. Then he bought himself a new one and then lost that a few months later on the ship. I think he lost it cause he never kept it on. When Ray was in school and he lost that ring, he sent me diamond earrings... when he came home from school he brought me a ring, a necklace and a bracelet. Guilty? You betcha. I never thought for one second that he bought those things cause he loved me. He wanted to look good. He was guilty of something...
I am a bitch. Period. Fuck with me and/or my kids and you are going to wish you never existed. I do not forgive and I sure as hell don't forgive. I stand up for what I believe and no one can change my point of view. I am what I am, take it or leave it. I may be single cause of the fact I think it's my way or no way, but I am proud of that. People have told me that if I don't change my way of thinking I may be single forever. That's fine with me. If they like living their unhappy lives thats fine with me. Just don't comlain to me about it! True, I may never be happy, but that's my choice. I was fucked with, I've fucked and theres no use in crying over spilled milk. We live and learn. I have learned it's all about me. And my kids of course.
Ok so I'm rambling a little. Point is, I'm a bitch. Deal with it or leave... and don't let the door hit your ass on the way out. As for my wedding rings... they are put away in a memory box. My husband doesn't deserve me wearing them. He is no longer my husband in my eyes. They are for my daughter to have when she is older. Maybe my son. I don't think I can ever get rid of them. Francesca won't ever wear it after she's married because it wont be her wedding ring. Her husband will buy her a ring the size of Texas anyhow... I demand it. Marcello wont need it either cause if he loves the woman enough, he will buy her what she wants. Yea yea I know I'm not materialistic BLAH BLAH BLAH
Wow.. It was such a huge step I stumbled.... but I'm ok....
Other than that today was a big day. I finally took of my wedding rings. You would have thought I did that a long time ago huh? Well, it hurt too much. From the day I got married I can't think of a time where I wasn't wearing my wedding rings. I had taken the engagement ring off so a diamond can be replaced but my wedding band never came off. I loved my husband with all my heart so I figured I should keep it on. Granted, Ray NEVER EVER wore his. He had one when we got married and then about 3 weeks after he lost it. Of course he says he was playing with it and they were in a field drinking (he was in A-school for the military) and it fell off. Since it was in the middle of the night he couldn't find it. That was right around the time he spent 155 dollars on a hotel room. Uh huh... I believe him... don't you? HAHA right. Then he bought himself a new one and then lost that a few months later on the ship. I think he lost it cause he never kept it on. When Ray was in school and he lost that ring, he sent me diamond earrings... when he came home from school he brought me a ring, a necklace and a bracelet. Guilty? You betcha. I never thought for one second that he bought those things cause he loved me. He wanted to look good. He was guilty of something...
I am a bitch. Period. Fuck with me and/or my kids and you are going to wish you never existed. I do not forgive and I sure as hell don't forgive. I stand up for what I believe and no one can change my point of view. I am what I am, take it or leave it. I may be single cause of the fact I think it's my way or no way, but I am proud of that. People have told me that if I don't change my way of thinking I may be single forever. That's fine with me. If they like living their unhappy lives thats fine with me. Just don't comlain to me about it! True, I may never be happy, but that's my choice. I was fucked with, I've fucked and theres no use in crying over spilled milk. We live and learn. I have learned it's all about me. And my kids of course.
Ok so I'm rambling a little. Point is, I'm a bitch. Deal with it or leave... and don't let the door hit your ass on the way out. As for my wedding rings... they are put away in a memory box. My husband doesn't deserve me wearing them. He is no longer my husband in my eyes. They are for my daughter to have when she is older. Maybe my son. I don't think I can ever get rid of them. Francesca won't ever wear it after she's married because it wont be her wedding ring. Her husband will buy her a ring the size of Texas anyhow... I demand it. Marcello wont need it either cause if he loves the woman enough, he will buy her what she wants. Yea yea I know I'm not materialistic BLAH BLAH BLAH
Wow.. It was such a huge step I stumbled.... but I'm ok....
posted by The Black Widow at 9:33 PM
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